The Postal Dude

"I regret nothing."

The Postal Dude is an unlockable character in the game. Like Serious Sam and Lo Wang, he is a guest character. He hails from the Postal video game series. He can be unlocked by winning 4 online matches, or through a more complicated process.

The Postal Dude is currently not playable on Xbox and PlayStation editions of Oh...Sir! The Insult Simulator.

Bio

Oh, God! What an awful stench! Did someone slaughtered a goat in here? No, seriously... What do I do here? It's just a terrible game made for horny teenagers. Well, it wouldn't be so terrible if I could only find some Krotchies here... There is an old kebab made of Ctulhu, Chinese clown running around with Japanese scissors. More so, first and foremost, THE Father Himself! Well, that was unexpected. Maybe He will sign my petition as 'till now only my weapon understood me. I see a potential network of my new psychotic friends. Maybe I can actually fall in love with 'em? Let's burst with piss together!

Unlocking

There are two confirmed ways to unlock The Postal Dude, but the first method is much more efficient.

1. Play and win 4 online matches. (This includes local co-op.)
2. Complete tournament mode with every other character, then play a multiplayer match (either online or local two-player) in "By the Lake" and have Interlocutor 1 win the match. You will then unlock The Postal Dude.

Weakness

The Postal Dude's weakness is "sinful" things, such as:

1. Satan
2. The Hell's Grannies Gang
3. The Nazis
4. Your sins
5. Drunk with
6. Farted on
7. [Has/Have] a steaming romp with
8. Pissed on
9. Probably murdered
10. Will disembowel
11. Go(es) around murdering people
12. [Is/Are] sinful
13. [Is/Are] vile
14. Tell(s) dirty jokes at funerals
15. [Was/Were] burnt like a witch
16. Will be damned for eternity
17. Will murder for a seat reservation

Unique insults

1. Kebab made of your mother
2. Krotchy The Giant Scrotum
3. Found a new application for a cat's butt
4. [Is/Are] feeling a little psychotic this morning
5. [Is/Are] gonna burst with piss
6. Like(s) running with scissors
7. Signed my petition
8. Pissed on
9. Will disembowel
10. Just call me Doctor Euthanasia!
11. Which seemed intuitive in design docs!

Trivia

• The Postal Dudes bio makes fun of several characters such as Lo Wang, HP Lovecraft, and The Father
• The Postal Dude was the last character added to the game.
• The Postal Dude is voiced by Rick Hunter, who has voiced the titular character in almost every Postal game, except for Postal III (which he stepped away from mid-development due to personal issues), Postal: Brain Damaged (only voicing the "Other Dude") and POOSTALL Royale (an April fool's game)
• One of The Postal Dude's unique insults is "Like(s) running with scissors", which is most likely a reference to the name of the company that developed the Postal game series, Running With Scissors.
• The Postal Dude's favorite type of cheese is gruyère.