"I'm the past action hero, baby!"
Groan, also known as Groan the Destroyinator, is a character in Oh...Sir! The Hollywood Roast. He is a mashup / parody of Conan the Barbarian and the Terminator, both of whom were played by actor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bio[]
An Austrian accented cybernetic organism sent from the future to kill a punk kid from the '80s, but mistakenly sent back 1500 years too far to Barbarian times, Groan the Destroyinator is just as confused as you are. His parts are rusting, his circuitry is outdated and his operating system is obsolete-- basically, he's a big muscly dummy. Lucky for him, he doesn't have to do much more than periodically flex his pecs and deliver quotable one-liners-- which he always crushes.
Weakness[]
His weakness is anything that refers to being unknowledgeable, such as:
- Can't learn English grammar
- Couldn't even teach kindergarten
- Got an online diploma
- Flunked out of community college
- Got a terrible SAT score
- Just doesn't get
- Some bumbling bafoon
Unique Terms[]
- A naked time traveller
- Dozens of time paradoxes
- Steroid induced backne
- Veiny biceps
- Couldn't get to the choppa
- [Isn't/Aren't] Y2K compliant
- Took a lava bath with
- Delivered a catch phrase to
- [Was/Were] programmed by
Comebacks[]
- End dialogue program!
- Now please abort your operating system!
- And it's not a tumor!
- Because I'm programmed to be a mean machine!
- And you're more of a last action zero!
- Which is one of my best one-liners!
- Now listen to the lamentations of your women!
- Now hurry, get to da choppa!
- Hasta la vista, baby!
Trivia[]
- Groan was added on the 22nd of September, 2017.
- Groan and Nosferateen have similar unlock methods, although Nosferateen's unlock is broken in the latest versions.